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What ELSE Can I do?
Advice
Learn the terms. Kidscape believes bullying is
- deliberate
- about a power relationship–the strong picking on those they perceive as weak
- has an outcome that is painful for the targeted child.
- Is usually repeated over time, a chronic domination of one child by another, or a group.
Of course there are mean words and pushing and shoving in any school day, and children will learn to shrug off the every-day. The bullying to worry about is sustained and repeatedly directed to particular children.
Bullying can take many forms–and many bullies combine their attack modes. You might find bullying that is
- Physical–hitting , punching, fights, threats, intimidation
- Verbal–sustained name-calling, sarcasm, spreading rumors
- Emotional–exclusion, humiliation
- Racist–taunts, graffiti, gestures
- Sexual–unwanted physical contact, homophobic abuse
- Cyber–this increasingly sophisticated generation makes use of all the technology at hand, including phone texting and messages, websites and email. Bullying can become a full-time onslaught, even when a child is at home.
Signs of possible bullying
- A change in routine–walk to school, staying in at break
- Withdrawal and truanting
- Feeling ill in the morning
- Coming home with unexplained bruises, or clothing or books destroyed
- Unusual fears
- Sleeplessness and depression
- Stammering and loss of confidence
Many children will not tell what is happening voluntarily, either because they have been threatened, or in fear that any tale telling will result in retaliation. It is important to catching a pattern of bullying early. Sustained bullying can result in a child who is overanxious, withdrawn from daily school life, isolated, self-harming, truanting or a dropout, and, in the worst cases, threatening suicide.
Kidscape has a long-proven program to help parents work with the school and child in ending the bullying. We advocate a “bully log” and simple assertiveness techniques that can be practiced at home. We also offer our free Zap workshops for badly bullied children which will help them turn their situation around.
For detailed advice, please go to our website www.kidscape.org.uk
