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What ELSE Can I do?
Don’t be a bystander
Bullies rely on a group witnessing their power plays. If you laugh or gather round a playground fight or photograph a crying student on your phone, you are part of the problem. Of course you don’t want to be in danger yourself, or draw the bullies. But you won’t feel good unless you have some way of breaking this ugly cycle of bullying. Your school may want to develop a way of anonymous reporting threatening situations, perhaps via inhouse email.
Teach your parents, and ask for their help. A happy school involves everyone at all levels. If you want to make changes, you need to bring your parents along to add their voice to yours. Don’t let them shrug, and say, “Bullying is part of life.” Or “It toughens you up.”
Take another look at children who are being excluded or bullied. Children who get this treatment often withdraw (although many bullied children become bullies themselves!) so you may miss what they have to offer. If you strike up a conversation with that boy or girl on the edge of the crowd, you might be surprised by what you find. Some of the world’s major successes, like David Beckham, were bullied in school.
If you know a bully, you may wonder what makes them that way. There are many, and complicated, reasons. In some families, bullying behaviour starts from the parents and passes to the children. Some are unhappy or under pressure at home or school, and take out their feelings on others. Some are bored, or seeking attention, and stir things up for the fun of it. Bullying is about power and intimidation, however subtle it is, and bullies are attacted to those feelings. If you ever have these reactions, look for healthier ways to deal with them. Bullies will inevitably get in trouble–and a high proportion of them get into trouble with the law when they grow up. If no one draws the line and says STOP, they will feel they can get away with anything. Of course, a bully needs help. The treatment of bullies is, however, an issue for the adults in the situation; what you want to work on is creating a general school atmosphere that says “WE WON’T STAND FOR THIS.”
